Sheryl Sandberg's new book, "Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead" has just been published this week. We wrote this post in May 2011 about Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk and continue to be impressed by her activism for women's leadership.
I have been listening to a fascinating TED talk on iTunes on “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders” by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook. Before we dive in, you have heard of TED – right? [TED (Technology Entertainment and Design) is a global set of conferences owned by the private non-profit Sapling Foundation, formed to disseminate "ideas worth spreading." There are many hundreds of free talks online, or as they say on the TED web site,“Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world.” If you are not familiar with TED – get thee to the TED site!] The other piece of this is - yes! You can watch the videos via an iTunes podcast so you can check that out too.
Ok, to the main topic. At 2130 Partners we have a strong commitment to women’s leadership. In addition to our corporate work, we have been investor activists with The Hunger Project for years. It is clear that the solution to world hunger is empowering women. I won’t go into all the details about that here, but the role of women and women’s leadership is an enormous overarching issue in the realm of “leadership” and it’s critical that we as leaders understand the barriers and come up with solutions.
In Sandberg’s talk she cites the following statistics for the current state of women’s leadership in the world:
Of 190 heads of state, 9 are women
Of all the parliaments in the world, just 13% of members are women
In top corporate jobs, only 15-16% are held by women
In the non-profit world, top jobs are held by about 20% women
Rather than focus on corporate policies and such, Sheryl focuses on the messages we should be giving to women and what they should be thinking about if they choose to be leaders. According to her, they are:
Women need to “sit at the table” – what she talks about here is how women have radically different self images from men particularly in underestimating themselves. This is something that has been shown in research studies for too many years.
Women systematically underestimate their own abilities.
Women don’t negotiate for themselves in the workforce.
Men attribute their success to themselves and women attribute it to other external factors.
“Make Your Partner a Real Partner”
This is about the power of equality in marriage/committed relationships as far as the distribution of responsibilities and also about society being more supportive of those who choose to work from home. This makes an enormous difference for women’s success.
“Don’t Leave Before You Leave”
This is about women “mentally leaving” or taking the foot off the gas pedal of their careers as they start to envision having families and children, often far in advance of these events happening. Her point is to stay in the game until you are really leaving.
As Sandberg says in this talk, there are no easy answers and it will take a true cultural shift for the number of women in the population to be equally represented in various leadership roles. The thing is don’t you want this for your daughter? For your niece? For your grand-daughter? Don’t you want it to be true when you tell them they can be anything they want to be when they grow up?
I have been listening to a fascinating TED talk on iTunes on “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders” by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook. Before we dive in, you have heard of TED – right? [TED (Technology Entertainment and Design) is a global set of conferences owned by the private non-profit Sapling Foundation, formed to disseminate "ideas worth spreading." There are many hundreds of free talks online, or as they say on the TED web site,“Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world.” If you are not familiar with TED – get thee to the TED site!] The other piece of this is - yes! You can watch the videos via an iTunes podcast so you can check that out too.
Ok, to the main topic. At 2130 Partners we have a strong commitment to women’s leadership. In addition to our corporate work, we have been investor activists with The Hunger Project for years. It is clear that the solution to world hunger is empowering women. I won’t go into all the details about that here, but the role of women and women’s leadership is an enormous overarching issue in the realm of “leadership” and it’s critical that we as leaders understand the barriers and come up with solutions.
In Sandberg’s talk she cites the following statistics for the current state of women’s leadership in the world:
Of 190 heads of state, 9 are women
Of all the parliaments in the world, just 13% of members are women
In top corporate jobs, only 15-16% are held by women
In the non-profit world, top jobs are held by about 20% women
Rather than focus on corporate policies and such, Sheryl focuses on the messages we should be giving to women and what they should be thinking about if they choose to be leaders. According to her, they are:
Women need to “sit at the table” – what she talks about here is how women have radically different self images from men particularly in underestimating themselves. This is something that has been shown in research studies for too many years.
Women systematically underestimate their own abilities.
Women don’t negotiate for themselves in the workforce.
Men attribute their success to themselves and women attribute it to other external factors.
“Make Your Partner a Real Partner”
This is about the power of equality in marriage/committed relationships as far as the distribution of responsibilities and also about society being more supportive of those who choose to work from home. This makes an enormous difference for women’s success.
“Don’t Leave Before You Leave”
This is about women “mentally leaving” or taking the foot off the gas pedal of their careers as they start to envision having families and children, often far in advance of these events happening. Her point is to stay in the game until you are really leaving.
As Sandberg says in this talk, there are no easy answers and it will take a true cultural shift for the number of women in the population to be equally represented in various leadership roles. The thing is don’t you want this for your daughter? For your niece? For your grand-daughter? Don’t you want it to be true when you tell them they can be anything they want to be when they grow up?
Author's Note: Building on last week's blog post which was my key note speech at a Women's Symposium in China I am posting the talk I am giving to the same group of Chinese Women Leadership Students for an upcoming break out session.In the opening ceremony, I did a quick scan of the global picture of women’s leadership in the highestpositions. I outlined a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits. I then pointed out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I addressed the requirements for men to be most supportive of a woman's passion and purpose. I declared that in the end both women and men must listen to their hearts and trust themselves. Identify your vision or "Yonder Star" and the path to it and get to work! Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionaite, patient and persistent. The joy in in the journey and the learning along the way.
In this session, let’s dig deeper. Let’s get down to what it’s really going to take to live a life you love and produce outcomes that have you shouting “YES!”
As you will experience, life gets harder in the middle as things like jobs, family, housing, school, and medical expenses take your energy. It will be hard to remember what you said you were committed to when you were in college. You have to step out into the world and be defeated a few times to test your resolve. Can you get back up, shake yourself off, and continue to pursue your vision or will you step to the side and only make gestures? Will you let your circumstances or situation determine your life and just complain about it? Perhaps you will just suffer in silence, hoping you can do better in your next lifetime? Do you know anyone like that? They didn’t plan their lives to turn out that way! So what happened?
Life happened. Circumstances happened. As you go along, the evidence and the agreement of others stacks up about how hard it really is to make a difference. In your lifetime it will be even more challenging. In an age of uncertainty, rapid change, volatility, the rapid spread of instant information, and the breakdown of traditional practices and culture, it will be more confusing than ever.
I see all of this as great news for you. The more the past ways are losing their grip, the more freedom you will have to innovate and the greater that demand will be for your courageous leadership. Please note an emphasis on courageous and recall how I used David Whyte’s definition of courage in the opening ceremony, “developing a friendship with the unknown.” Why is that so important?
When the pressure is on and circumstances are pressing in on you, it is very normal to fall back to what you know from your past. The problem for leaders is that your past won’t help when what you need to accomplish your Yonder Star are bold new strategies and partnerships that are different from past practices. To get your passion and purpose back on the path to leadership, you will have to get comfortable with not knowing what to do. You will have to stay uncertain long enough to discover new strategies and new team members that can lead you beyond the world you and others knew and find comfortable. You will have to learn to become very comfortable with being uncomfortable!
So let’s get specific. Here is an example of a really big vision or Yonder Star. Applicants for next year’s World Forum For The Future of Women were asked to write a brief essay on women's lives in a perfect world. Part of what one woman said was, “In a perfect world, women are really equal with men. They do not have to lose weight in order to get the praise of their boyfriends. A woman is a god of herself, not her boyfriend, family or someone else. She is totally free and her spirits are strong. She makes her own life colorful and has a say in society. She belongs to herself. She belongs to the world too. She thinks for the animals, the children, even our beautiful world. Her eyesight is so big. Life is full of ups and downs, but she always keeps her heart basking in the sun. She knows that every dawn will present a fine prospect for her to unfold and the world will always be about new hopes in her eyes.”
Does that Yonder Star call to you? What do you think it will take to make that vision real in the world? If it fits you, what will you have to change about yourself and the way you have dealt with life in the past? If you answered “I don’t know,” you are wise. No one knows today what it will take to fulfill such a bold vision. To be successful with such a vision, you will learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable or not knowing.
The other critical aspect of being able to fulfill your Yonder Star is to make it very, very public and develop lots of partners in your vision. The more people you include, the more creative input you will get. More importantly, there will be more people to remind you about your commitment when you forget.
Now I want to remind you that the only powerful vision or Yonder Star for you is the one youchoose. No project is too big or small if it is truly yours. This is one of the hard parts of leadership. There are so many social agreements on what’s right or wrong or what gets recognition at the moment and what does not. Unfortunately, many really important ideas are not appreciated by others when they are created. Many famous artists, for example, died before their work was recognized and many social reformers never lived to see the improvements that came from their lifetime of commitment and hard work.
You cannot live a life of true significance and also worry about whether you are getting lots of credit at the moment. You will have to find other sources of strength. You will have to become completely comfortable with your own vision and ideas and completely willing to own the consequences of your actions and inactions. You will have to be completely willing to deal with your circumstances.
For the women in the audience - to be a visionary, you will have to be very patient. It may be a struggle to bring men along with you on your path. Some of you may find it easier to stay single and simply focus on your work. In some ways that will make your life much simpler. On the other hand, you will miss out on many of life’s joys including children and real partnership.
For the men-if you intend to be a partner with a highly committed and passionate woman leader, be prepared for surprises. At times, your emotions may swing from very excited to wanting to give up. To be an equal partner will mean that much of what you have learned by listening and watching other boys and men while you were growing up will not be valid or useful in partnering. These old ways of relating to women may even cause you great pain.
For both of you, your guide will be the Yonder Star vision you share and your respect and love for each other. Beyond that, you and your partner will both be on a path of exploration. If you are frequently uncertain or confronted, you are probably doing the right work. If you are very comfortable, you may not fulfill your vision!
So what I have talked about are one or two very basic ideas it will take for you to be truly successful in fulfilling your Yonder Star or vision. It will be hard at times. It will take courage. You will forget your vision, you may not be able to find your commitment, and will have to be reminded. Your relationships can often be confronting, frustrating, or just disappointing. Discovering the joy and satisfaction of equal partnership as you express your passion and purpose on the path to leadership will make it all worthwhile.
As I summarized in my keynote it will ultimately come down to listening to your heart and trusting yourself. Identify your Yonder Star and the next steps on your path to fulfilling it and get to work. Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionate, patient, and persistent. The joy is in the journey and the learning along the way. Be thankful that you are one of the people who will have the opportunity to live a meaningful life!
This week I am privileged to be speaking to the women of The World Academy for the Future of Women at SIAS International University in Xinzheng City, Henan Province, People’s Republic of China. For the past 18 months or so we have been working with Global Interactions and their President Jerrie Ueberle, (as well as others), to co-create curriculum and a program for The Academy. In conjunction with this, their 4th Annual Women's Symposium is also being held and my speech will be part of that symposium. Suzanne and I will be teaching at The Academy and participating in the symposium. This project has had an enormous impact on us here at 2130 Partners and has been an amazing learning experience.
The symposium is titled "Women Making a World of Difference: Putting Your Passion and Purpose on the Path to Leadership" and I was asked to address the subject of "Being Heard In A Man's World." I have to confess to some trepidation to doing this speech. What do I as an older Western male have to say to brand new graduates of a women's academy in China? I thought long and hard about this. Given my more than 30+ years experience as an investor activist for the end of world hunger I firmly believe the education and empowerment of women around the world is absolutely crucial to our collective global future. So after much reflection, here is the speech I will be giving:
Putting your Passion and Purpose on the Path to Leadership will require that you speak up, take risks, and be heard to move your goals from a dream to reality. You will not be alone! Bold women around the world are stepping up and challenging traditional ways, with major consequences at the individual, family, community, and societal levels. They are insisting on being heard in a world where women’s voices have long been marginalized or ignored.
Pursuing your path to fulfillment will bring you up against many barriers and pitfalls and will require you to deal with things you can barely imagine now.
Today, I will outline a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits. I will then point out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I will address what will be required of men to be most supportive of you passion and purpose. The work is hard and confronting, however, the satisfaction and rewards are enormous.
Women are clearing a path for you by moving into top leadership roles on a worldwide basis, more so in government than in large corporations. With the recent election of Laura Chinchilla as President of Costa Rica, the world has 26 women heads of state and government. India passed a law in 1993 that required that 33% of all positions in local government, called Panchayati Raj, be women. That law has allowed 1,000,000 women at the local level to take on leadership roles in their communities, which means more women in public office in India than in all of the reset of the world put together. In addition, the Indian Parliament is currently debating a new law that would extend the 33% requirement to the national level in its own lower house. China has 21% women in its National People’s Congress. By contrast, the percentage of women in the US Congress and State Governors positions averages 17%. Representation of women among top corporate executives in the 1,000 largest US firms averages 15.7%. While these numbers still don’t reflect the fact that women make up one-half of the world’s population and “hold up half the sky,” they do represent a significant number of women in influential roles.
As women achieve more powerful roles and higher incomes, however, a combination of old and new threats must be dealt with. Traditional cultural practices are still producing great discrimination against women and girls, from employment and educational opportunities right down to the aborting of female fetuses and abandonment of female babies in very large numbers. Estimates are that there would be over 100 million more women in the world if this were not taking place. In addition, fundamentalist religious sects are going to great lengths to suppress women across the world. At the personal level, pressures for conformity to old ways exist in every community.
So what is the appropriate action?
First and foremost, you must pay close attention to these existing conditions we’re talking briefly about here today. The work you will do to successfully fulfill your vision will take place in these conditions. To be effective, you cannot wish them away, simply ignore them, or fight violently against them.
The process that will make you most effective is simple but it is not easy:
1)Develop a very clear expression of what your purpose and passion look like in the world when fully expressed. In our company we call that your vision or your “Yonder Star.”
2)Make full, clear, and accurate account of the conditions that exist and in which you will be working.
3)Ask “what’s missing from my picture of my fulfilled vision today?” “Which of those issue would produce the most results in the shortest time and with the least effort if I get to work on it?”
4)Design projects to address that issue and get to work.
5)Monitor progress and redesign as necessary to fulfill your projects.
6)Keep going until you are building capacities and moving successfully toward your vision.
Remember, the key to effectiveness is to have your vision, pay attention to current circumstances, and focus your work in the gap between the two.
What will be required of you?
1) First and foremost, summon your courage. The courage that will be most valuable is what author and speaker David Whyte calls “developing a friendship with the unknown.” Once you start on your path, you will have left your traditional, familiar surroundings and ways of relating to others and will be in unknown territory. If you are unwilling to be in that state and learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable, don’t bother to get started. You will be stepping out of historic roles and relationships and you will be insisting on what can and must be done to produce meaningful change.
2) Second, you must be willing toaccept the consequences of your actions. This does not mean, “be a victim.” It simply says that all actions and even failure to act have consequences. To be free to act effectively, you must be aware of the potential consequences and feel that the results are worth it. You must give up avoiding being criticized or thought of as weird. You will have to deal with rejection and pushback without taking it personally. The questions to ask are “what stops me now?” “Am I willing to focus on my vision and go past that barrier?” “Am I willing to have all of the consequences and not just the ones that are safe or that I call good?”
3) Third, focus on collaboration. Develop strong alliances with other women who share your objectives. Work together and support each other, especially when your courage is faltering, you can’t find your passion, and your purpose is blurred. Find courageous men and teach them how to be your partners. It won’t work to make men wrong, as that will just create a wall of resistance. Success will involve teaching and enrolling them in how they will be better off by collaborating with you. It works – my wife and I are living examples of equal partners who make great contributions to each other and our clients and community.
4) Fourth, summon compassion. When you are causing change, some of the people around you, both men and women, will be threatened. They won’t necessarily understand what you are doing or why. Your family members may fear for your safety or that you will leave them. Others may have their beliefs threatened or feel that they will be harmed in some way. Change of any kind, even good change, is an upset for people. Forgive them for their resistance and help them understand the benefits.
5) Be patient. Allow those around you to re-shape their relationship with you and with the changing roles of women in general. Balance the rate at which you are attempting to accomplish your work with their ability to absorb the changes you are bringing.
6) Develop and maintain your clarity- how do you intend your life to unfold? What is the best path for expressing your passion and purpose? Remember, it is your life, so any path you freely choose is fine. There are no right answers other than that!
7) Be authentic. The world has actually been waiting for you. Be fully yourself, fully self-expressed, and let the world choose how much of you it wants and for what roles. You are the only person who has been genetically encoded to deliver what you offer by being fully you.
8 Be persistent. You will be amazed at how many excuses and seemingly very good reasons you will come up with to change or give up. Stay on your path (strategy) or get back on it when you stray.
9) Surrender. If you have a really big passion and purpose, you will be immediately and often confronted by thoughts like “I’m insufficient,” “I don’t know how,” “I’m scared to death,” and “I’ll never get good enough fast enough to reach my Yonder Star!” Success will require that you reach out to find team members and identify successful strategies. When you get stuck, ask, “Who are my missing team members?” and “What are the missing strategies?”
What does this require of men?
1) Enlightenment. To receive the benefits of having powerful, effective women in their lives, men will have to be willing to be open to the opportunity and to not know how it is going to turn out. They will have to suspend their instant, automatic, and unexamined beliefs about women and the roles women should play. They will have to be present to the opportunities before them.
2) Recognition. To be able to partner effectively with women and benefit from their newfound power, men must realize and own that they discount or ignore women’s voices. This will be extremely difficult for many men, as they do not realize that they do it currently. The adjustment may be threatening or painful and they may experience a sense of loss.
3) Courage. Men who step up to being real partners with women may still face times when they feel threatened by the situation or the strength of the woman or women around them. Further, they may have to stand the ridicule of other men who see them as weak or stupid. As with women, it will require developing a friendship with the unknown. They won’t necessarily know what to expect from women or how to handle what is being said or done to them.
4) Action. In addition to all else, men will have to see and act on the opportunity offered by being in equal relationship with women whether as romantic partners, co-workers, or members of their community.
Ultimately, for both women and men, it will come down to listening to your heart and trusting yourself. Identify your Yonder Star and the path to it and get to work. Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionate, patient, and persistent. The joy is in the journey and the learning along the way. Go forth and prosper!
Sheryl Sandberg's new book, "Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead" has just been published this week. We wrote this post in May 2011 about Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk and continue to be impressed by her activism for women's leadership.
In the opening ceremony, I did a quick scan of the global picture of women’s leadership in the highest positions. I outlined a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits. I then pointed out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I addressed the requirements for men to be most supportive of a woman's passion and purpose. I declared that in the end both women and men must listen to their hearts and trust themselves. Identify your vision or "Yonder Star" and the path to it and get to work! Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionaite, patient and persistent. The joy in in the journey and the learning along the way.
So let’s get specific. Here is an example of a really big vision or Yonder Star. Applicants for next year’s World Forum For The Future of Women were asked to write a brief essay on women's lives in a perfect world. Part of what one woman said was, “In a perfect world, women are really equal with men. They do not have to lose weight in order to get the praise of their boyfriends. A woman is a god of herself, not her boyfriend, family or someone else. She is totally free and her spirits are strong. She makes her own life colorful and has a say in society. She belongs to herself. She belongs to the world too. She thinks for the animals, the children, even our beautiful world. Her eyesight is so big. Life is full of ups and downs, but she always keeps her heart basking in the sun. She knows that every dawn will present a fine prospect for her to unfold and the world will always be about new hopes in her eyes.”
For the men-if you intend to be a partner with a highly committed and passionate woman leader, be prepared for surprises. At times, your emotions may swing from very excited to wanting to give up. To be an equal partner will mean that much of what you have learned by listening and watching other boys and men while you were growing up will not be valid or useful in partnering. These old ways of relating to women may even cause you great pain.