It’s the time of year when many of us conduct annual rituals that may include everything from strategic planning sessions for business to making New Year’s resolutions or setting Bold Goals for 2011 and beyond. We’ve found any such process to be much harder to do when we haven’t completed and let go of the past. It’s very difficult, (impossible?), to really move forward when we are carting the past along with us. The process of letting go can include changing your attitude and perceptions about what the economy did to you, to digging very deep and letting go of some of the childhood stuff that shapes your life.
On the fun end of the spectrum, we have for many years put flip chart paper all over our walls when we have a New Year’s Eve party with a simple question on each, such as “What did I start and not complete?” or “What did I accomplish that I haven’t been acknowledged for?” or “What did I screw up that I didn’t get caught for?” Guests write on the charts all evening with colored markers and sometimes get even more creative with a touch of artistic display as well. On a number of occasions we have taken them all down at midnight and symbolically burned them.
On a business note, we do a similar exercise with our executive clients where we pass out a page with questions for them to fill out that explores accomplishments and failures in their businesses, practice of leadership, and lives. (We have a free download of this exercise sheet at the bottom of this blog post.) One of my favorites is “What must I communicate to be complete with 2010 and to whom?”
A few of the highlights from these types of executive discussions include discoveries of attachments participants did not realize were holding them back, people around them who they had failed to acknowledge, and places where they were not leading by example.
We also know that for many folks the holidays can include a lot of upset, ranging form anxiety around gift giving and office party 
attendance to remembrances of lost loved ones or unhappy childhood experiences related to the holidays. The latter is fertile ground for completion work.
Some of the comments we get about these exercises can be summed up as, “transition/transformation is a lot of work!” If you are intending to be powerful in 2011, have big goals, and produce great results, we highly recommend you spend the next couple of weeks completing and letting go of 2010, (and earlier if you need to), in order to create fertile ground for your 2011 vision to come alive.
If you would like to try our exercise format we have included it here as a free download.
Wishing you a happy ending to your 2010 and a fabulous 2011!
I'm watching my alma mater, Northwestern University, play football while flying the first leg of our trip to Ecuador. As a very small school playing in the Big 10, NU teams have always struggled to hold their own in the conference and, once in a while, produce a team that excels. When they do, they do it with heart and commitment that far exceeds their talent and depth. In this game, the announcers are praising NU's quarterback, Dan Persa, (who is not one of the big names in the country), as someone who "will always get whatever is there to get." In fact, he has just run for his second touchdown and then thrown for his third and they are still in the first quarter of the game!
This has got me thinking about great leaders. They know how “to get whatever is there to get”- meaning they find the opportunities big and small in every situation and leverage them for all they are worth.
In a workshop the other day, 2130 Partners' co-founder, Suzanne Frindt, (who is also my wife), used the term "Lazy Labels" to capture the instant, automatic, and unexamined statements many, if not all of us make on a fairly regular basis. These statements could also be called "knee jerk reactions." In this highly charged season of political sound-bites, such Lazy Labels seem to be flying everywhere! What we notice about "Lazy Labels" is that they seem to be a convenient way to suppress complex topics you don't actually understand, don't want to examine, or have "already made up your mind about." The issue with this is that their use diminishes your effectiveness as a vision-focused leader. Let me explain.
Lazy Labels often have the effect of "shutting things down" like diagloue and conversations. If you stop dialogue, healthy inquiry, and curiosity-based listening with one of those quick labels/statements, you and those around you, will never learn more about each others' knowledge, perspectives and feelings. In fact your brain has a mechanism to be sure you don't learn anything that disagrees with your Lazy Label. You won't be learning anything new about the subject at all. You will only see evidence that agrees with you. As we have written about often, we believe this is the era of collaborative leadership. We need each other's skills, competencies, knowledge and perspective now more than ever, so shutting yourself and/or your team members down is dangerous.
In her November 5, 2009 blog post entitled, “
During a conversation with one of our CEO clients this morning, we saw more deeply into something that I’ve been puzzling about for a long time that was both helpful and a bit entertaining for him. My puzzle has been ‘what makes it so hard for most of us to fully articulate and then share our real dreams with those around us? ‘
What came clear out of our conversation is that there is great personal risk in fully speaking a dream, even to yourself. Our histories, (which we fondly refer to metaphorically at 2130 Partners as "File Cabinets"), have lots of evidence stored in them about things that haven’t turned out, limiting beliefs, and circumstances that will prevent success. These "historical files" may well be aggregated under the section tab called "Impossible."
This twist on an old tongue twister is a light-hearted access to something we have been noticing more and more recently. What we are seeing is a phenonmenon of clients "speaking in woulds." Instead of speaking in a direct and declarative way, e.g. “I’d say it’s time to deal with that topic, take action, etc. we are hearing people say “What I would say about that topic is...” It seems to have become a fairly common way to speak in meetings and such, yet it leaves me wondering what is actually going on with the speaker?
It seems very similar to when people speak about a personal experience using "you" to explain it. For example, “well, you know, when you’re cold and tired...” except they are speaking about their own hiking adventure or whatever. Whether you are "speaking in woulds" or "speaking in yous," in both cases you are subconsciously distancing yourself from your own experience and turning a valuable opportunity for real connection and sharing into just distant story or removed opinion. 
Have you ever wondered whether there is any common language that exists for all humans and, if so, how knowing about that language might help you be a more effective as a leader? Well, there is and researchers have called it “deep metaphors.”
In the November/December 2008 issue of 
In the realm of leadership the conversations are almost always quite serious. We discuss characteristics and traits like integrity and core values and mission statements for guiding teams of people. We review how leaders make mistakes, and how they fail. Process improvement, ROI, P&Ls, the list goes on. One topic that rarely comes up is “fun.” And why would it? Leadership is serious stuff right? Profits are at stake. People’s livelihoods are dependent on the successful outcomes of business plans. Fun is “frivolous” and has no place in conversations about important topics like leadership – or does it?
Culturally we are a very driven society. There is a push to succeed, particularly on an individual basis. In business this often translates to company cultures of, “if you are car isn’t in the parking lot on Saturday, don’t bother coming back to work on Sunday” which translates to 60, 80, or even 100 hour work weeks. The thing is high levels of stress are well-documented to break us down and cause serious health problems. Over-worked, exhausted people are less likely to be creative, innovative and productive and are more likely to be out sick.
ch. These events are often met with reactions ranging from “this is annoying, but I have to go,” to all out dread by employees and feel unnatural since they aren’t in sync with the daily culture. Employees often attend to be sure they get their “points” and to be seen as being loyal and enthusiastic, (whether they really feel it or not).
In May I was forwarded an email written by Shama Kabani (@Shama). [She runs an 
coming from McKinsey and recapped by Shama in her email. I found them compelling because in addition to my role as Principal and Co-founder of 2130 Partners I am also a Best Practice Chair at 
Does the oil mess in the Gulf of Mexico outrage you? Are you saddened by the recent mine disasters? Are you distressed by the air and water pollution we see on the news or in person if you travel much? Do you drive a car, have air conditioning and heating, and/or fly much?
Here’s the biting part – you & I are causing all of these unhappy circumstances. Granted, for most of us our role is somewhat indirect. However, there would be no oil drilling, coal mines, refineries or plastics manufacturers if we didn’t buy and use the products to facilitate the lifestyles we enjoy. Being angry at the owners and executives of the companies involved makes sense on one level, but on another level it is a way to push responsibility off on someone else and comfortably go on with our lives. Large, complex systems will fail periodically, despite our best human intentions. There will be crashes, fires, stock market plunges, and on and on. We are all part of the large complex systems we live within and use to continue our lives as they are. It’s critical we examine this from a larger lens. It’s also important that we start to open to the idea that no matter how small, we do have a role in these large systemic failures that seem to be someone else’s fault.
Consider the possibility that stepping up and owning it all may provide new access to solutions and strategies you had not seen before. You may find that owning it all even gives you a new sense of freedom – the freedom to be with the good the bad, and the ugly without suffering about it. The suffering may all come from resisting the way that it is and the way that it isn’t rather than because if it. 
In the opening ceremony, I did a quick scan of the global picture of women’s leadership in the highest positions. I outlined a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits. I then pointed out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I addressed the requirements for men to be most supportive of a woman's passion and purpose. I declared that in the end both women and men must listen to their hearts and trust themselves. Identify your vision or "Yonder Star" and the path to it and get to work! Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionaite, patient and persistent. The joy in in the journey and the learning along the way.
So let’s get specific. Here is an example of a really big vision or Yonder Star. Applicants for next year’s World Forum For The Future of Women were asked to write a brief essay on women's lives in a perfect world. Part of what one woman said was, “In a perfect world, women are really equal with men. They do not have to lose weight in order to get the praise of their boyfriends. A woman is a god of herself, not her boyfriend, family or someone else. She is totally free and her spirits are strong. She makes her own life colorful and has a say in society. She belongs to herself. She belongs to the world too. She thinks for the animals, the children, even our beautiful world. Her eyesight is so big. Life is full of ups and downs, but she always keeps her heart basking in the sun. She knows that every dawn will present a fine prospect for her to unfold and the world will always be about new hopes in her eyes.”
For the men-if you intend to be a partner with a highly committed and passionate woman leader, be prepared for surprises. At times, your emotions may swing from very excited to wanting to give up. To be an equal partner will mean that much of what you have learned by listening and watching other boys and men while you were growing up will not be valid or useful in partnering. These old ways of relating to women may even cause you great pain.
In a rather reflective one-to-one the other day, one of our clients said, “Your availability in a world where nobody is ever available, (mentally, emotionally and physically), is greatly appreciated.” This comment has unleashed a whole inquiry in which I have been examining the implications for my life and work. What does it mean "to be available" to others? Particularly if you are a leader?
interacting with others, can you be fully available to them? What would that mean? How can you do that, given all of your commitments? Does this seem overwhelming? What if being available has nothing to do with time or space and only to do with how present and open you are? How quiet your mind gets so you can hear what others are saying, whether it’s in person, on the phone or even in an email or text? Rather than rattling around with your own thoughts and feelings, what if you just really listened, and asked questions and didn’t judge?
I recently attended a presentation of "High Performance: How To Get It. How To Keep It" by 
In the process of growing up and becoming a successful leader, you most likely put together a set of well-developed values, beliefs, experiences, and capacities. You have probably done well at suppressing your emotions and demonstrating your rational thinking. Being successful means your mix has served you well; you have been rewarded, "bonused," and encouraged along the way. You have probably learned to rely on the way you interact, solve problems, and produce results to the point where the basis of your thinking, (your "paradigm"), is now instant, automatic, and unexamined.
To paraphrase the 
leadership," and that means the Peter Principle is "in effect." To continue to lead successfully, you will be required to think in new ways and benefit from the thoughts and perspectives of others. In other words, cherished self-reliance becomes obsolete. Collaboration, inclusion, openness, the ability to continue learning, respect of others' skills, expecting others to contribute - these are the traits that are critical to develop.
This may seem like a funny question, but do you know the answer? Are you using all of your intelligence? We don't mean "business intelligence" in the sense of consumer data, research and business results. We are talking about your own personal intelligence. You probably believe you "give it your all" and use all of your capacities and capabilities - but are you sure?
We can all think of examples of stories where people followed a gut instinct and it was either critical to their survival, or it changed their life, or drove them to make an important business decision. When people are tuned in to that gut information, and they are asked how they knew something or why they did what they did, the response they give is, "I just knew," and we can tell by the emphasis that the knowing came from a deep and solid place. Being able to tap into our deep-seated inner knowing is something fundamentally human that our culture does not overtly value highly.
I had a further conversation with 
5) There are few best practices for conversations that lead to highly productive interactions. For example, it’s easy to observe a group of people behaving in a continuous "fire-fighting" mode and we have a term for it. It’s less clear in every day shared language what the descriptor is for highly productive group interactions.